Last nigtht, i practiced our new video camera and took my self-portoraits. When I up-loaded my pictures to web, I asked to myself....if i am beautiful?? Strange question but I was so serious....for some people 'beauty' means white and pinkish skin, sexy body, tall, good nose, good eyes etc. I was so sad 'coz even 1/4 of the criterea for being beautiful I didnt have....I experienced lots of rejections before, I had no confidence...I said to myself I want a beauty that I want so that all the people like and respect me, not only for friends but also in love and jobs...I cried many times already....why my face is like this????? But all has changed, in the help of god to give someone showing me the real meaning of beauty..Tetsuya came to my life. The physical aspect is not important, but the most important it is how you are, if you are real to your mind and expect what you have. Tetsuya had me myself be confident..The elegance is having peace of mind, being simple for what-so-ever, and real in our life, be true. Full of love to love ones and for others, now I got alive to dream again....I maybe even over qualified for beauty!! Even when someone is not beautiful outlook, dont care......you should be beautiful for your inside, bcoz how you are determines how beautiful you are.
12/22/08
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